My mom says she's going to have me start seeing a counselor. I don't know why she puts it like that. I know she means I'll basically be seeing a therapist.
I have only one say in the matter: male or female?
Just wondering, if your a girl, would you choose to have a male or female therapist?
I still haven't decided.

Anyway, I'm starving. All I had for lunch today was some french fries my friend treated me to during lunch period at school today. Megan is awseome.
I'm gonna go try to find something to eat downstairs in the kitchen. If not I may just walk across the street to Arby's and/or Food Lion.

I seriously need a break from this house. I can not take any more of the rudeness, disrespect, hate, and hurtfulness any longer. It's depressing me more and more every day. I'm not even able to focus in school any more. My thoughts are always wondering to problems at home.
I just wish I could go back in time to when I was a little girl. Back then I was so happy. I has the 'perfect' family; in my eyes, at least. Now, we're just as dysfunctional a family as any family could be. I'm sure of it.
Yes, I've had the suicidal thoughts, considered running away, and etc - but I've never gone through with it. Why? I'm not sure. I think it's because deep, deep down I don't want to do those things because it could harm our family relationship more.
And all I really want at this point is for my family to be the way it used to be.

It's me! When I was little. Even back then I was into fashion and dressing up and all that. It's obvious I'm destined to become a fashion designer, if you think about it. Off to go watch some random Youtube videos for fun - even though I should be sleeping since there's school tomorrow.

This is totally random, but I just thought I'd share all the places I've lived in, in the order of birthplace to most recent. So here you go:

Virginia
Florida
Virginia Beach, VA
San Diego, CA
Virginia Beach, VA
Inwood, WV
Virginia Beach, VA

We're set to move again soon - because my dad is in the Navy. This will be the last time we move because of his job. We'll probably either stay somewhere in Virginia Beach (which is what I really want now that I've started high school) or Florida.

I'm a little late telling this story, but here goes:

The other day during lunch in school I was sitting with my friends TJ, Brittney, and Megan. Brittney is being harassed by this one kid in our school, Max. He's like calling her a man, ugly, fat, etc - it's really quite horrible because Brit is an awseome person.
So anyway, Max comes up for the millionth time that lunch period as he always does on A Days and drops off a nasty note/picture for Brit to read.
This millionth time that he walked up the other day, TJ got pissed.
He stood up and was all like, "Cracker, go back to your seat!"
It was SOOOO funny! Everyone at our table was hysterically laughing after that.
For those that don't know, cracker is like the name for white people. You know, like nigga/nigger (I'm not calling ANYONE that. I'm just saying. No offence is meant to anyone by that word.) is the word for black people.
So like usually only black people call white people cracker, but now TJ just called another white person a cracker - it was hilariously funny. Because he just got upset and said that out of no where.
I can not even BEGIN to describe just how funny it really was. You HAD to be there to really, really understand.
Anyway, now I'm laughing my ass off again. Good times, good times...

Apologies for not posting in a few days now. I have totally forgotten about this blog. Between the monsoon, school, and everything else I have been swamped lately.
I will try to post more, though. I swear it.

Still feeling sick today. Have all the same symptoms I already listed in my last post - except now I'm pretty sure I also have a fever.
My mom still made me go to school today, though. Thankfully I made it through the whole school day without having to go to the nurse or something.
My cough has gotten a bit worse, also.

Anywho, obviously no school this Wednesday. Veteran's Day. Yay for a day off. I love getting days off of school. But, then again, who is their right mind doesn't?

I feel like death re-incarnated. I'm sick. Have been since last night. Been sleeping all day, although waking up every two hours or so. Have only gotten out of bed to help my mom sort some of our VHS tapes, and just an hour ago to get a little something to eat since I hadn't eaten anything in about 24 hours.
My throat hurts like hell; I keep coughing almost every time I move; every bone, muscle, or otherwise is majorly beyond sore; I have a really bad headache, too.
Worst part is that I still have to go to school tomorrow no matter how I'm feeling - I've already missed too many days this semester.
I'm going back to bed now. Beyond tired still, despite how I've been sleeping almost constantly the past 24 hours or so.
I definitely hope I'm feeling a bit better tomorrow. I hate being sick.

This is just a picture I took when I was sitting outside of my school at around 2:10pm EST waiting for my mom to pick me up. I'm actually looking at my friend Derek in that picture. He was sitting beside me. Yeah, I had a little mini-photoshoot while I was holding a conversation with him. Lol. This is the only picture I kept from the "photoshoot", though. I didn't like the way the rest of the pictures looked. Also, beware - no make up in this picture. I didn't feel like putting any on this morning. Too tired and am just over the whole getting up early, going to school, homework thing. It's so boring. Well, the learning part is at least. It's fun getting to be with all my friends and stuff.

I haven't posted since Halloween...dang...I usually post a lot more than that.
I haven't really had anything to post about though. Unless you want to hear about how boring school is, how I keep having boys hit on me during school, how I've been fighting with my mom (but we always make-up the same day), and just stupid things like that. Which, by the way, would probably bore 99% of you to sleep.
So yeah, I'll spare you :)

I'm soooo bored. I didn't go to school today because I didn't finish my report last night. And if I went to school today without the report I would have gotten a zero on it. I finally did finish my report though, so now I have to turn it in/present it on Wednesday. I also had to finish my make-up algebra homework that's due on Wednesday as well. All I have left is some world history homework I had to do over the weekend.

Anyone who actually reads this blog knows that two days ago (friday, october 23rd) me and my BBBFFF Kourtni went to my school's homecoming dance. It was totally fun. We partied it up! Lol. But yeah, it was fun. I saw some people I knew, also. Said hi to a few other people. But me and Kourtni left an hour early because we got tired and slightly bored. Anyway, that's a picture we took. Sorry it's blurry. We were both laughing and my hand was already shaking to begin with.

It is currently almost 7:30am, and although this is a lot later than I normally wake-up on a school day, I wish to death I was still sleeping. I'm not really all that tired, I'm just in one of those moods, you know? Well, maybe you don't know. Oh well.
Everyone in my family is getting ready for that reinlistment ceramony I told you about in my post yesterday. In my opinion, this ceramony sounds super boring. In fact, I bet you anything it will be boring. Guess it's a good thing I have friends brave enough to text during class - so I'll have some people to text.
Homecoming tonight, as I'm sure anyone who has been reading my posts knows already. I think my mom is thinking about taking me out to get my hair professionally done. I want it curled, just because it would be something different from my normal look - as if dying my hair wasn't different enough. Lol.
PS: I just took that picture. Sorry it's so dark, I have my lamp set to the lowest setting and my curtains are closed - plus I didn't want the flash on because it's too bright and I was still adjusting to being awake. You might be able to kinda tell that I've dyed my hair - but I'll have better pictures later so you can see the color better. I promise :)

First things first, I just got back from a family dinner at Olive Garden - one of my all time favorite places to eat. It was fun, as always. For once me and my siblings got along the whole time, too. Sucess! Haha.
Anyway, on to the point of this post. I dyed my hair!! Well, my mom dyed it. But anyway, she did it a few hours ago after a lot of begging from me yesterday night. It's not like very, very dark or anything - but it is darker than my natural hair color. I'll take and post some pictures of my new hair color as soon as possible.

In other news; I wont be going to school tomorrow, and neither will my siblings. Tomorrow we have to get new ID cards and also my dad has his Reinlistment Ceramony (Spell Check! Lol) tomorrow. Only four more years and he'll be out of the navy for good. Bad thing about this is that my whole family will be moving soon. We're trying to get them to move us to Florida. We were trying for Hawaii at first, but the navy said no :(
Also, homecoming dance tomorrow! Both me and Kourtni are super excited for it.

By the way, I went out and bought my homecoming dress and all that yesterday. Tomorrow once I get ready my mom is going to take pics of me and Kourtni together all dressed up and stuff - I'll try to remember to post pictures of that aswell.

So, that's it. Ta, ta for now, bitches! :)

So today was all good. Got up after waking up multiple times the night before - but that's nothing new. Went to school. It was fine, as always. Corey sat with me and my other friends at lunch today - very awseome.
The day was perfectly fine and normal. Untill right after school.
Today was the day I made up my missed PE work. To make it up I had to walk a mile. Like, I know people are like whatever. That's not that bad. For those of us with knee problems, who hate the cold weather, hate walking a lot, and get bored easily - it sucks. Big time, mother chuckers.
Thankfully my dad agreed to walk the mile with me - since he was there with me to make sure I made up my PE work properly.
Another good point is on the way home my dad stopped and let me spend the 5 dollars he had just paid me on food from Wendy's. I facking j'adore the fast food place, for anyone who didn't know.
But like, by the time I was done walking the mile (that's 4 times around the track, in case you didn't know) I was about to pass out. I was ready to just hit the ground and everything. Pass. Out. No lie. Lol.

So, yeah. Anyway, now me and my mommy are about to go out shopping :)

*Pictures were taken two days ago. I meant to post them yesterday, but my dad had my laptop. Better late than never, I guess! :)*

I cam home from school a bit early yesterday. I felt about ready to throw up...thankfully, I never did! I hate throwing up, along with coughing and a lot of other stuff. Lol. I seriously fell alseep sometime before, I think, 5pm. Then woke up again around 7pm, then again at almost 1am. And then I finally woke up again at around 6am (a little over an hour ago), but this time I'm staying up fo good. I'm currently watching The Clique (movie), drinking lemonade, and eating ritz peanut butter crackers. All at 7am on a Saturday morning. I need to find something to do...like fast. Lmao. Peace, darlings!

I got my first cell phone violation in school today. And it wasn't even my fault. My "friend" Katherine, who I sit next to in 4th Block on B Days (Intro to Design) took my cell phone out of my back jeans pocket and started texting someone or checking something online or whatever, and then when I was trying to put the phone back into my pocket the teacher chose that exact momment to look over.
So instead of Katherine getting in trouble, I did. Because it was my phone and she only saw me with it. So then the teacher took my phone away.
The punishment for having a phone on, in use, or on display during school hours on school grounds is that you can't pick your phone up from the school's main office untill after school the next day (which means they keep your phone for 24 hours), only your parent/guardian can pick up the phone. And I could quite possibly get 1 day of ISS (in school suspension), which if I do get it, means I'll be in ISS on Monday.
Basically, I'm getting punished for something my so-called friend did. How annoying and sucky. I just really hope I don't get ISS because that goes on my permenant school record - which would be bad come looking into/applying to colleges time.

Just another regular day. Nothing really to report. Except the fact yesterday I got my laptop and phone taken away for the second time in the past two weeks for multiple reasons. I need to get my act together because I hate being punished, especially when the punishment has anything to do with my electronics. But then again, what normal teenage girl my age wouldn't hate getting her phone taken away for a whole day or more? Haha.
Anywho, like I said, nothing momentous happened today. Just school, tons of homework since I missed two days of school because I was sick, and helping Kourtni find people to be in the band she wants to start.
Hope everyone is having a good day, though. The weekend is almost upon us again! Woo. Lmao.

Today I was not at school, and instead was at a 5-hour long appointment with the therapist I started going to last year, and also my family's doctor was there.
For the past two years it has become obvious I suffer from something along the lines of Depression or Bipolar Disorder, or etc.
And today's appointment was to find out exactly what disorder/disease so I could be treated for it. And the results are: Borderline Personality Disorder.
I don't really feel like sitting here and explaining what it is, so go Google it, fuckers. I'm not gonna waste my time typing something when you could just find out about it yourself.

Anyway, bet many of you would have never even guessed I suffer from any type of personality/emotional disorder. You thought wrong. There are a lot of things people don't know about me or my life. A lot of things happened in the past two years that no one could begin to understand. And a lot of things I don't plan on ever sharing with any of you. So that's that.

Ari + Cam = The newest couple at Bayside High

A few of you may have heard about Cameron recently. Well, guess what bitches? Cam is my boyfriend of two weeks now! So, yeah, I finally have found myself a boyfriend after all these months of being single, and recently starting to hate being single.

I'll have pictures to post of me and Cam together once my laptop gets back from being sent in to get fixed. BTW, as you can guess from that last sentence I am not on my own laptop right now - I'm using my mom's old one. The disk tray of my laptop broke so now I have to wait a few weeks for it to be fixed. We sent it in to be fixed a few days ago so it should be back by the end of this month. Hopefully.